I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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