I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
