my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
