That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
