WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
