So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
