You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
