there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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