please come you make the beer taste better
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
