listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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