Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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