Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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