Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Drunk is a universal language darling
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