i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
