guys are not supposed to queef...right?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Every concussion has its silver lining
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
