He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize