Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
