That's intense
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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