sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
