Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
