the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
soo... how was my night?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
