Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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