apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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