Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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