We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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