Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
