My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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