just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I can feel your judgement through the phone
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
