Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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