She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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