i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
