we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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