i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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