Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
