i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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