at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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