Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
