just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
