New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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