he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize