Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
