remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize