I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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