Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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