She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
they're like a gay fantastic four
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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