i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
