I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
