It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
