First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize