gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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