Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
