Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
