Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
