My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I supernannyed him into submission
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
