wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
