flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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