operation harelip BJ is a go
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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