i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
