those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
