who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it hurts more in the daytime
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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