I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I am available for nakedness
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
