we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
