Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.