found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before